Bernal To Be

Posting

2010-02-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

I have mentioned this on twitter and facebook, but figured I better put something here. I am not going to post on a schedule, as I tried to at the beginning of the month. There are several reasons for this, one of them being that there is no rush to flesh all of this out that quickly, but mainly because I would rather produce good content here and there than mediocre content daily. I also want this to be a meaty blog, where I do not have to sift through posts that I just made to have something to say that day; relating back to the purpose of this being where I will store my plans for the wedding.

Prelude to Honeymoon

2010-02-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

We I have some ideas concerning the honeymoon. Basically there are two different routes of ideas that we are thinking of going, so I am going to divide this into two posts. Our expensive, but not crazy expensive honeymoon, and our crazy expensive honeymoon. Through-out these posts I intend to get actual numbers on these and that will help us decide between them or if they are both too expensive. Tomorrows post we will delve into the Expensive, but not Crazy Expensive Honeymoon.

On a second note, why are all honeymoon photos on the beach?!? I guess it's cause I'm a Floridian.

Maid of Honor & Bridesmaids

2010-02-14T22:02:00.001-08:00

There she is...my maid of honor (and my ring bearer next to her). There is noone else who fits this role better than her, except for the whole not living in Florida bit. Me and Brittany Putzer have been best friends since 7th grade; she was Brittany Mahn back then. Brittany is a sister to me and I feel very much that she is my little shoulder angel. Brittany gives everything she does 110% and can be counted on more than anybody I've ever known. Words could not describe how important this woman is to me, on a side note she resembles a scottish terrier in their ideal - power in a small package.

On bridesmaids we are gonna hit that bridge when we get there. For the production of it I don't particularly picture them to be necessary and I only feel there is maybe one or two girls I would implore their help for this position, but we will see.

Impression

2010-02-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

This is just a blip to clarify. I don't want to give the wrong impression. I want this to be as little of a wedding as possible with all the people me and Tom care to be there. The blog is just a means of collecting all of the pieces I will need for planning ahead of time and sharing that with you people that I care about. Also, I want to get the most bang out of my buck. If I am having trouble finding that perfect location (like I am) my social network who reads this has an idea of what I'm looking for and someone out there just might know that perfect building I'm looking for or may even know who I would speak to inorder to get it booked. *sigh* Now that that's off my chest. Stay tuned tomorrow for a post on my maid of honor ^^

Food

2010-02-12T22:01:00.000-08:00

Here we are to the most important part of the wedding...FOOD! We are still working this out, but what I know so far is that my Dad was so kind to offer his services (as he used to be a chef) and we have a family friend that he used to work with when he was a chef that I'm sure wouldn't mind helping out either. Now if we do choose to have my dad cook we will definately have broccoli soup, because that is one of my favorites. There is also these wonderful cheesy potato ball recipe that I like that will probably make an appearance if we take this route. We have not agreed on the time for the wedding, so the main dishes we are still working on. We both LOVE Chipolte, so if we do not go with my father that is another option we are highly considering. Another food we really love is Thai food, so that is another option we will be working with.

Music

2010-02-11T08:01:00.000-08:00

Me and Tom both have an appreciation for orchestral music. For the wedding music we intend to 'rent' a viola quartet. They will be playing the traditional wedding march, and we will find some other assortment for them to play which will be added a later time to this entry.

For the reception we will be giving away a CD with some of our favorite love songs/"our" songs to include:
Love Me and Love Me Tender by Elvis Presley
Somebody by Depeche Mode
Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls
Light my Candle and I'll Cover You from RENT
Without Love and Your Timeless to Me from Hairspray
Elephant Love Medley, Your Song, and Come What May from Moulin Rouge
Romeo and Juliet from Reefer Madness
I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith
I Only Want to be With You Cover by Twiggy and Twiggy
Fantasys Come True and Mix Tape from Avenue Q
Till You Come Home to Me by Marc with a C
and many, many more to be added in this process.

We are still working out the details on the music for the first dance and all that good stuff.

Bouquet & Flowers

2010-02-10T09:40:00.000-08:00

My favorite flower is a red rose, but I would want it to be white for the wedding. I intend to have a bouquet of white roses, and Tom will have a corsage of a white rose. There was not any information on wikipedia for a traditional ammount of flowers in the bouquet, so I will do some research as to how bouquets with different ammounts in them feel in my hands.

The decorative flowers are going to be highly dependant on the location, so we will see for the decorative flowers. The bridesmaids (if I have any) and groomsmen (if I have any) will be highly dependant on their attire, but we just haven't crossed that bridge yet.

The Dress

2010-02-09T19:33:00.000-08:00

$160.00

Well, picking it was easy, but I am going to wait and see how much I weigh in a couple years before getting to what I will assume is the hard part: the buying and fitting and all that fun stuff. Incidentally, when I was young I had made a picture of myself in an outfit like this -- little did I know it would become my wedding dress. I love the overlay on the bottom and the lacey long-sleeves. I intend to add more to this as more information comes.

Location, Location, Location

2010-02-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

Living in Florida many people may envision a beach wedding. I, however, do not like the idea of sun, sweat, and sand on our wedding day. It will definately be indoors and I cannot for the life of me tell you where I got the inspiration for this, but I envision a stone-ish building akin to this:

$ ?

I prefer the grey stones in the middle to the more rounded ones in the back. I want this to be within two hours of Orlando. The closest I can think of to this in Orlando is the library downtown, but I have a lot more footwork to do on this area. I have been a little lax, figuring that in my ventures I will find this building without having to go out of my way. In any case, please feel free to comment with any suggestions as I do not have anything more than an idea of what I would like at this point. And yes I do realize it looks like more of a prison than...a chapel or something -- don't ask me. It's a thing.

Tom thinks we should get married at El Morro in Peurto Rico, but that is just a bit further than within two hours of Orlando..

Theme

2010-02-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

To be honest, I haven't put much thought into a theme for the wedding. This is definately something you should know though - I am trying to compose this thing in the most logical order possible, so I am going to have some posts, as such, that are kind of place holders, but I will jot some thoughts down definately and come back to it. On the theme, some possible things to incorporate are my favorite color purple, his favorite color blue, Babylon 5, Christmas (?)...and well, to be honest other than that I can't exactly think of anything besides the "standard". It should also be noted I'm more than welcome to suggestions on any of this blog. Please feel free to comment. I'm not here to preach that this is how it's going to go. I want this to be as good for me and him as possible.

Another thing I would like to comment on concerning theme is that I like the idea of touching on wedding tradition in all of these items I have to consider for the wedding, but tradition does not work for everything.

The Date

2010-02-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

This will be very anti-climactic. It should be very well noted that the wedding will not be any time soon. Tom does not currently have a job, we are selling and buying a house, and I need to figure out how I am going to go to the University and what will happen with our little family in that time.

Seeing that we need to allot plenty of time for this to happen, I am planning for us to be wed on 12/12/12 (again, we love Christmas). The problem is he is planning for us to be wed on 12/25/11 or 12. Yeah, we are still working the kinks out of this one. This 'ought to give you all an idea, but we will come back to this entry once we come to an agreement and get back to ya'll.

The Proposal

2010-02-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

It should be noted that I love Christmas (an agnostic who loves Christmas, what's up with that!?); and I refer to this past Christmas, 2009, as 'The Best Christmas'. I saw RENT 4 times (once for free -- won tickets on a Twitter contest) and that best friend (there will be a nice post about her once I get around to a page on my Maid of Honor), we were taking a trip to visit her in Oklahoma!!! I never thought I would be excited to go to Oklahoma, no really.

Well, I had come across a ring on Amazon that I thought was beautiful:

Tom had previously had good experience with Jared and was looking for their lifetime guarentee, so we had decided to venture over there. We found a ring that met what this one does, except the amethyst was not nearly as big and pretty in the middle. Then we found this other ring. This ring was (REALLY DAMN EXPENSIVE!!!) what I described to be my fairytale engagement ring. Well, I tryed it on (famous last words) and according to Tom my smile with that ring on sold it (much to the happiness of the vulture that was working with us I am sure -- he was a nice vulture, but a vulture none-the-less).

So back to me being at Brittany's house! I am over at my best friends house with my godson and snow!!! I had no idea that Tom had gotten the ring at this point. We were even Christmas shopping and I told her "I packed with him! I checked his pockets!" Unfortunately, this engineer fiancee of mine is too good for me. He had put it in the pocket of a jacket that he never wears. I was holding onto this jacket at the flippin' airport!!!

Christmas Day comes along and me and Tom are up at 7:00am, me totally unsuspecting. We open all the presents (that is to say baby Charles opening all the presents and the rest of us a few). So someone is yelling (over the ruccus) "One more present! One more present!" And still being blind as a bat I am repeating it thinking there is one more present for the baby (almost 3 year old).

Tom stands infront of me. Tom kneels infront of me. Tom pulls out a box. And holy cow! This is it! Tom was asking me to marry him! I barely could squeak out a "yes". I had no idea and it wasn't until I saw the ring that I realized this was it. See, I was sitting down on the ground so I didn't see him go from eye level to below me, only from above to eye level. I wouldn't think that would trip you up, but it would trip me up.

The video of the proposal is below. I would like to note that my wonderful best friend/maid of honor is so darn loud. On the cell phone (more of a camera than a phone) that this was recorded on pretty much all you can hear is her saying "ohh it's so beautiful!!!", but from what I have heard it has been pretty easy to hear on the computer. Having just come off the high of 4 RENT shows, and being with my best friend, her hubby, and my godson on Christmas; there is absolutely no bettter way, time, or place that I could've gotten engaged at.

Our Story

2010-02-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

The Bride's Rendition:

Well, there isn't too much of a story (aside from me pining over this man for 3 years!!!) July 10, 2005, I met Tom at the Rocky Horror Picture Show. By the end of the show I had seen this man in tighty whities, fishnets, a corset, and heels. My kind of man! He looked maybe 22 back then. I had joined the theatre group that performs the show at Citywalk, The Rich Weirdoes.

Well, he had been in a few relationships in the time I had known him. While he was in one I did not want to get too close and rock the boat, but between them I didn't want to come on to him too quickly. I wanted to give him proper time to grieve. Unfortunately, before I even have a chance he is allready snatched up! ((This happened a couple times!!!)) I swear I thought he was some kind of Rico Sauve.

Eventually life happened, and I had to take a hiatus from the weirdoes to make way for it. Any time I have ever taken a hiatus from the Weirdoes I just cannot wait for the next time I am able to make a reappearance. That time happened to be in February 2008 for the superbowl party. This is the next time I would see Tom. I had since decided that I would stop waiting for him, but when I saw him walk into Ofie's door I was running on pure instinct. We hugged. It felt so good to be in his arms. We hung out together through-out that night. Now, I didn't know the next time I would see him.

The thing is, at this time I was only going to rehearsals and he was only going to shows. Finally, March 14, 2008 comes along and I am performing a main character, Magenta, for the first time. Whats-more my best friend, her husband, and my godson were attending the show. I had requested for my favorite Riff Raff to be my Riff Raff. A good friend was performing as Brad. Little did I know who would perform Frankenfurter that night. It was Tom!

That night we ceremonially went to "Dennys" for breakfast and he was sitting there with a friend of his. I ended up sitting directly behind him and we were rubbing each others hair from behind the chair. By the end of the night his friend had left and I was there under his arm. I didn't know when I would see him again.

Finally, March 27th, 2008 comes along, I invite him to see my new apartment, we watch Spiderman 2, and the rest is history...

The Groom's Rendition:

I was performing as Brad Majors one night when this cute girl comes up to me, gives me a hug and says she wants to give me some money. It was rather obvious that she liked me, but I was taken at the time. She didn't seem like a crazy, except for wanting to give me money. I saw her a couple of shows in a row, enough to remember her face. At one point, she stopped coming, so I wondered what happened. When I saw her next, I asked her how come she hadn'tbeen to a show recently. Apparently she had gotten in a car wreck. Well, I kept seeing her at shows and everytime we hugged, and when she wasn't there I wondered why. After a while she stopped offering me money, which is good because that was a little weird. She joined the cast officially and started coming to rehearsals. It was at rehearsals that I got to know her better.

Now, men are desne creatures when it comes to love. It took me a while to realise that she LIKE liked me, but I was in a relationship more often than not. besides, I still saw her as that weird kid who came to the shows and gave me money. It wasn't until one cast party where she got drunk and told me she was going to tell my current gal that she liked me ((insert from Melody -- I was telling her that I liked him and I like her and I was happy for them both, because I thought both of them were such great people!!!)) that I realized how serious she was. Now, I liked melody, a lot, as friends. I had come to appreciate her company, specially one time when she gave me a ride home and we talked about everything. We had a good friendship and I appreciated that. Which is why I offered her to go to a friend's wedding with me, as friends. Unfortunately she took this to mean more and was hurt ((okay I wasn't too hurt...I was just under the IMPRESSION that this was a date. I mean seriously! Who the hell invites someone to a wedding reception that they *know* likes them!!!!)) when I invited a couple other friends as well. She has never let me live that down.

So it came a time when I was in between romances, and she saw her chance. We made a date to go to my place and watch her favorite movie, "The Butterfly Effect." Unfortunately, I had another friend over and she wouldn't leave. This is the woman that would become my late wife. She wanted to dig her heels in and not let go, so she overstayed her welcome and I didn't have the cojones to ask her to leave. We also watched "Hedwid and the Angry Inch". Melody was hurt that her date had turned out to have a third wheel. Everytime I went to put my arm around her, the other one would reassert her presence and I felt uncomfortable. It was a fiasco. After that night, Melody says she swore me off forever. I don't blame her. i spoke with my late wife about that night and she admits to having selfish intentions of breaking the date up. Well, she won that battle, I married her after all.

A few months after my wife passed, I sought the comfort of my surrogate family, The Rich Weirdoes. It was superbowl time and I went to the cast party. There was Melody, who greeted me with warm and open arms. We spent much of the night together, talking and cuddling. I was still in mourning, but I needed the warmth like a child needs their blanket. Nothing happened that night, of course but it set the stage for us to get together later. It may be weird to want another's warmth so soon after loosing someone you have commited to for life, and it wasn't easy. My heart was conflicted, but I needed a shoulder to cry on.

I got a call from her inviting me to go see her new apartment. I was thrilled by the posibilities of renewed friendship... and possibly romance, though I didn't hold my breath on that one. I showed up and she greeted me warmly. She didn't have much furniture so we sat on the floor on an air mattress. We put on "Spiderman 2" and watched about half of it before we started cuddling. One thing led to another...

It took me a long while after we started dating to be ok with doing so, considering i was still grieving my loss. We took it slow, and she gave me my space and time. It wasn't easy for either of us, but the spark was there and we felt inclined to see it through. We survived introducing her to my kids and the dog, and eventually we decided to move in together. She has been a constant source of love and support, and I love and support her in return. Our love grew, as it tends to do when so neatly cultivated, and on Christmas last year I asked her to be my wifre. And she said yes, obviously!

I leave you with a quote from my favorite movie musical: "The greatest thing you'llever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

--- Tom

The Groom

2010-02-03T22:04:00.000-08:00

She wanted me to say a few words introducing myself. Hi, I'm Tom, or Mol To Be. I'm a simple guy, with simple tastes and likes.

I work (or worked, in between jobs right now) as a software engineer for over 15 years, most recently for Electronic Arts. I enjoy creating software, and consider it more an art form than a science. I also enjoy acting as a hobby, which is one of the reasons I joined The Rich Weirdoes.

I can veg out in front of a TV for hours, like any american, mostly with sit coms, documentaries, or science shows. I love most sci-fi; I prefer Star Wars to Star Trek though I love both. Yes, I'm a big science geek and an avid NASA fan. I'm one of those who can sit and watch NASA TV for hours.

Since I worked for EA you can also guess I enjoy video games, and you would be right. I don't like the shoot'em ups, mostly simulation or adventure games. I can watch a good movie many times over; I've seen Ghostbusters over two hundred times and I always find something I missed.

With Melody, we have a bunch of cats and a dog. I'm a dog person who was turned into a cat person.

I was bornand raised in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and yes I speak fluent Spanish. I also speak a decent amount of French, though my vocabulary is weak.

I look forward to married life and kids. I was married once before (she passed away) and I have two stepsons who don't live at home but still call me Dad.

I love to read but I rarely find time to sit down and focus on a page. I'm currently reading Michael Pollan's "The Omnivore's Dilema" which deals with the way the food we eat is made from farm to plate. Before that I finished reading Buzz Aldrin's new book "Magnificent Desolation", and "Son Of A Witch" by Gregory Maguire. Speaking of that last one, I'm a huge fan of the musical "Wicked", and have seen it 6 times. I've also seen "Rent" four times, and "Avenue Q" once. Yes, I'm a man who is straight AND loves musical theater. Though I love theater of any kind, really. I am also a huge supporter of the GLBT community; I've even marched in the local gay pride parade twice.

I'm agnostic where it comes to faith, which means I do not believe in god nor do I believe there is no god; I simply do not know and cannot take it on faith. My problem is not with god but with the act of belief itself. Some say that's an atheist, but I prefer to walk that fine line since I find no proof on either side.

Where it comes to politics, I'm a bleeding heart liberal. If wanting a public option in healthcare reform makes me a socialist, then hand me my hammer and sickle. I believe that the greatest power our constitution affords us it the ability to change it. If you're reading this, do my and yourself a favor and find your representative and senators' contact info and give them a piece of your mind. They are there to do YOUR bidding so let them know what that is, otherwise they will do what someone else wants.

I'm sure there's more I could say about myself, but Melody is pushing me to get going. We're going to a meeting of her school's Gay-Straight Alliance. So, until my next post, goodbye and thanks for reading.

--- Tom

The Bride

2010-02-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

Redefining Cool

I suppose there is no better place to start than my aspiration in life. When I was growing up the cool people were not the one's (like me!) who studied hard to get good grades. The cool people were out partying every night getting by cheating on exams. That's how I saw it anyway! Goals were (are) related to videogaming, and the future was so confusing we didn't spend too much time thinking about it and never the relation of our actions to what it means. There's all the nasty stuff you hear about drop outs, theives, drugies, drug dealers, attacks. I just want to see (American) society as a whole care to be good more often. I want cool to be defined by an appreciation for knowledge; all realms of caring: for yourself, your community, your state, your country, the world; action, and most of all I don't want these words to sound like every self-help book/show/magazine you've ever read/seen. I don't want to be a teacher. I don't want to be a psychologist. So I haven't quite yet determined how I want to impliment this, but this is my slogan and we will see from here.

RENT

RENT is a musical that changed my life. RENT preaches "No Day, But Today" (a.k.a. live each day as if it were your last), "Forget Regret, or Life is Yours to Miss", and various other more controversial viewpoints that correlate with mine that this blog is not intended to touch on. Everybody should give RENT a try. It may just change your life. Thank you Jonathan Larson.

Nutrition

I am an aspiring Registered Dietitian. June 2006 I began the diet that would change my life. I was 18 and have always been proportionately overweight to my peers; that is to say, I have always been about the same amount heavier each year growing up to my peers compared to their growth. I began the South Beach Diet in June 2006 and ended up loosing 30 pounds. This was the first major battle against something I didn't know I had control over, won! This was the seed that would bloom into my interest in nutrition. I am endlessly fascinated with the subject from the science to the food on my plate. I will definately have to update this one day on how that whole diet thing worked out for me though between then and now...

Scottish Terriers

In 2007 I fell in love with a very sweet doggy. His name is Jet and he is a very smart black scottish terrier. His pet is a friend of mine who I regard to be my guardian angel. Once I get through with my schooling (and a few other cats and a dog pass) I am dabbling in the thought of breeding a couple of scotties. In any case if I get a girl I want to name her Missy and a boy Apollo. This is just some thoughts I am tossing around the ol' head and just can't wait till I atleast get my one pet scotty.

French

I have studied the french language for about six years now with a bit of a break through out college. I hope to take a vacation there someday (a crazy honeymoon dream...we will see). Ultimately, the most important thing for me is that I would love to be able to speak it fluently.

These are the big things I am about right now. Stay tuned for a guest entry about and by the groom tomorrow, au revoir!

Well...

2010-02-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

Friday, December 25, 2009 Tom popped the question. Well, he knows that we need to get the house in order to sell and buy a new one in a much better location and that I will be transferring to University life in a year, so the wedding won't be for at least another couple years. I have decided to put my wedding planning into a blog for sake of having it all in one place and being able to share it with loved ones. So here it is. Don't expect much to begin with because this is the last thing I should be doing right now...That's right, I'm referring to you International Politics Book!